Really Bad Gift Ideas
Hazel Park, MI November 25, 2003: ShopInPrivate.com,
the company that bring you a private shopping environment, is
now delivering fun holiday shopping tips. Instead of suggesting
great gift ideas though, we are warning you about the worst ones.
Flat-D Underwear Fart Filter: Even if you husband has
a terrible flatulence problem, Christmas morning is not the time
to offer him a filter pad that he can tape to the inside of his
underpants. Trust us.
Pubic Hair Trimming Device: You may stare jealously
at your skinny friend as she tries on some low-rise pants. You
may even wonder if she'll need this device to wear them. It is
probably best if she solves that problem on her own.
Bulge: Looking for a gift for your single brother? Perhaps
you also want to help him find that special someone? Even if your
intentions are pure, this product, which will fill out his jeans
in the front, will not be a well-received holiday package.
Tongue Scraper: Your boss may have really bad halitosis.
If he would just scrape the bacteria off of the back of his tongue
with a tongue scraper he would solve it. Buying one for him as
a gift will not clear the air around the office.
Virgin: It may not feel like the "first time"
when you are with your husband. If he bought you this item, which
uses Alum to temporarily shrink the walls of the vagina, it could
likely be the last.
Hair Trimmers: Uncle Fred may be filtering his inhalations
through a mess of tresses. An electric nose hair trimmer would
really clean up his appearance and make him look younger. We doubt
one will let him breathe easier.
Massagers: Even if a friend has confided to you that her
current relationship is not satisfying enough, she was probably
venting frustration more than she was hinting about a gift idea.
It Up: Gravity may be getting
the best of your Mom, but buying her these instant breast-lifts
that use specially cut adhesive pads to lift the breasts will
certainly not lift her spirits.
In summary, if you have an embarrassing condition that needs
attention, you can Shop In Private for it at ShopInPrivate.com.
The purchase will be easy, delivery will be fast, and we will
hold your personal information in the strictest of confidence.
We just aren't a great place to Christmas shop for your friends
Tom Nardone the President of ShopInPrivate.com is available
for questions, comments or conversations at 1-800-809-0610.